Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The brevity of life

My sweet, kind, loving, and nonjudgmental sister lies in critical condition in a hospital bed. On Sunday, she suffered a cardiac arrest and developed a blood clot back to back after having had surgery the previous week. Tears flow as my mind's eye transports me back to our younger years together. She is ten years my senior. I can so remember wanting to be just like her as a child.

Gerry married Paul when she was 18, and they soon moved to Topeka, Kansas, where he served in the military. I missed her so much and devoured her letters. The news of his honorable discharge 4 long years later was music to my ears.

My sister had endometriosis before it was diagnosed as such. Six years into their marriage, her doctor performed an experimental endoscopic surgery, excising pie-shaped wedges out of her ovaries. Ten and a half months later, a beautiful little girl was born to her and Paul, and they named her Terri. Almost three years later Terri's little brother was born. They were the darlings of our family.

I spent many weekends in their home which was right near a lake. We water skied and had picnics on the beach. Summers were glorious. I loved babysitting and just being with them. They have always been good people to be around.

While we were living in Africa, Gerry was the one who took care of Mom and Dad. Eventually, their aging caused them to depend on her even more. She was always there for them. When Mom could no longer care for herself, Gerry and I flew to Florida and staged their winter home to sell. We had days together to talk and work. I realized once again how much I loved her and how happy it made me to get a long block of time to spend with her.

She is so loved by her husband and adored by Terri and Mark. For the past two days her frail body has been unresponsive which has caused concern, but today she followed Terri's movements with her eyes and seemed more aware of her surroundings. Imagine surviving a blood clot and cardiac arrest! She's a tough little cookie.

Pondering her condition makes me painfully aware of the futility of my subconscious idea that nothing would ever happen to her. That life would always include her. That she is only a phone call away, and reminiscing over lunch is something we can look forward to. Not so. Not right now anyway.

For the past six years she has been in intense back pain. Couldn't stand, walk, sit, or lie down without it making her feel miserable. Yet I rarely heard her complain. Nothing worked: not the treatments, not the injections, not the therapy, and not chiropractic. Now after corrective surgery to strengthen her weakened and deteriorating spine, she lies listless. I want her back, Lord. Her grown children and husband want her back. Her darling grandchild, Katie, wants her back. Please, Father, give her some more time with all of us. Give her some pain free years. Restore what the locusts have eaten.

You all have hurts of your own. Disappointments. Heartaches. Shocking turns of events. Sorrows. Tragedies. The shroud of death may be encompassing your life. I pray these scriptures will soothe your soul as they have mine this week.

"Our" times are in your Hands Psalm 31:15


In your light do we see light Psalm 37:8


The reverent fear and worship of the Lord is your treasure and His Isaiah 33:6


Like a twittering swallow or a crane, so do I chirp and chatter. I moan like a dove.
My eyes are weary and dim with looking upward, O Lord. I am oppressed; take my
side and be my security Isaiah 38:14


He gives power to the faint and weary, and to Him who has no might He increases
strength, (causing it to multiply and making it to abound) Isaiah 40:29


For I the Lord hold your right hand; I am the Lord, Who says to you, Fear not. I
will help you! Isaiah 41:13


. . . In returning to Me and resting in Me you shall be saved; in quietness and in
trusting confidence shall be your strength Isaiah 30:15


The Lord of hosts--regard Him as holy and honor His holy name by regarding Him as your
only hope of safety. And let Him be your fear and let Him be your dread, lest
you offend Him by your fear of man and distrust of Him
'
And He shall be a sanctuary (a sacred and indestructible asylum to those who
reverently fear and trust in Him Isaiah 8:13, 14


The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my Invincible Army. He makes my
feet like hinds' feet, and will make me walk (not stand still in terror) but to
walk and make spiritual progress upon my HIGH PLACES of trouble, suffering, or
responsibility.


May God add His blessing to the reading of His unfailing Word.

5 comments:

..... said...

Mrs. Smith your sister and your family are in my prayers. I know what you mean by never thinking of life without them in it. My grandma died the day before my babyshower in 2006 (sweetest day actually) and to this day I still pick up the phone and call her. When grandpa answers I feel like a fool. I have never really grieved her being gone because it hasn't set in yet. 2 years and you think I would of come to terms with it. She lived a wonderful life and I know she is in no pain now. I pray that your sister gets some pain free days ahead of her if not years.

Love you and miss you.

Megs

Mariah said...

Nancy, I know how you feel, praying for healing and restoration. I will pray with you. Sisters are a unique bond that really cannot be explained on the page. It is one that I cherish, as you do. I love you and hope to hear good news soon.

Mariah

JoLewis said...

My prayers are with you!

Jess said...

Hey Nancy,
I am uplifting your sis before our Heavenly Father today. Although I don't have a sister, I have a few girlfriends that act as "sisters" in my life, and the bond that we have is amazing. Thanks for sharing about her life, and for sharing the encouraging scriptures. We can all use those, no matter where we are at in life. I'll be praying for you too Nancy.

Much love,
Jess

karen44 said...

This has been a really tough year for the Smith's. I'll be lifting you up in prayer, yet again, and praying for peace for you, and God's healing in your beloved sister.
-karen l.