Let the Redeemed of the Lord Say So

I remember the first time I went to church as a five-year-old with the little girl and her mom who lived across the street from us. My family did not attend church, ever. A giant of a man stood before our large class and said something like, "If you go to movies, you are going to go to hell." These many years later I do not truly believe that is all that came out of his mouth, but for some reason that line has stuck with me for years. I had just seen the movie, Bambi and went home very worried about the consequences of my "sin." The concern caused me to share his declaration with my mom, who just about went through the roof. I was never allowed to attend that church again.

Seven summers later, at the age of 12, I invited my best friend over to share a Spam sandwich. Spam was big during World War II and has remained on grocery store shelves since then. Many people are not familiar with this "poor man's ham" as it was called. Because it needs no refrigeration until opened and is convenient to pack, we always take Spam to the Congo. Funny how good it tastes there. We never go near it here in America. Judy and I saw each other almost every week day that summer, taking turns riding our bikes to each other's home. Our lunch always consisted of fried Spam, white bread, and Miracle Whip. Life was great.

One day Judy opened her Bible and asked me if I were a Christian, to which I replied, "What is that?" She explained Christ's death for me on the cross, the need to recognize I was a sinner, forgiving for the asking, and the response I needed to make in faith, believing that by His power, He would really save me. This is the first time I can ever remember hearing the Gospel. It was definitely the first time I totally understood what the Gospel meant. I discerned at that young age that anyone would be a fool to let that offer slip through one's fingers, so I immediately bowed my head and invited Jesus into my life.

Wonderful as my parents were, they did not understand my decision, and for many, many years we were spiritually estranged. Judy and I parted ways that fall. She started 7th grade at a private school. I attended the neighborhood junior high school. We have seen each other only once since then and conversed a few times on the phone. I am eternally grateful to Judy's knowledge of the Scriptures and her concern to win me into the kingdom of God at such a tender age. Thank you, Judy, from the bottom of my heart. You introduced me to my wonderful Jesus and He changed the course of my life!

Ecclesiastes says that God puts eternity in our hearts. I so believe this. I can remember winning a Bible by memorizing verses which I recited in a Sunday School class at about the age of 10 or 11. What a treasure that became in time. But before I really understood much of it, I would pick out a book of the Old Testament, select a chapter at random, and try very hard to understand its meaning. I remember lying in bed at night knowing I should pray, but not knowing how to, and so I just started blessing all my relatives from A to Z before peacefully dropping off to sleep. As Philippians states, "It is God who works in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure." Even this act was prompted by the Holy Spirit.

Entering 10th grade meant attending Pontiac Central High School. I was so excited to move on up in the world. That year another girlfriend asked me to join the youth group at her church. What a foundation was laid there for me. It was one of the happiest times of my adolescence, as I discovered this whole new world of people who actually believed in and lived by God's Word. They walked to a different drummer. They loved me and guided me into truths that forever molded and changed my thinking. The church became my new home--Sunday School, Sunday morning services, Sunday afternoon youth group, Sunday nights services, Tuesday night choir practices where I played the piano, mid-week prayer services on Wednesdays, and Saturday night socials with the youth group. I loved every minute of it.

My poor mom, on the other hand, did not understand what was happening. In her frustration one day she asked me why I didn't just move my bed to the church and live there all the time. I met a young man at the church and eventually we became engaged. However, in my heart of hearts I knew we should not marry. When I broke off the engagement to attend Bible college, again my mom threw her hands up in the air. She just didn't know what to do with me. My father, on the other hand, was so embarrassed at my applying at Detroit Bible College, he told people at work that I was going to barber school instead of Bible school. The estrangement continued. We lived in two different worlds.

It was at that College that I met Jim. The first time I saw him I knew he was God's man. He was the man! His commitment to and knowledge of the Scriptures blew me away, and his voice stirred my soul, but there was one small complication. He was engaged. When he returned from Christmas, however, the news spread all over the small student body that he was a free man again. Sorry for her, but goody goody for me.

At the time we were both in the chorale at college. Jim was often called upon to sing solos, and I as many times accompanied him. We fell in love. I put out a fleece before the Lord, and what I asked of Him, He made happen. We were married the next fall. Again, my parents wondered if I had both oars in the water because I chose to marry a minister. The pay was not great, and they didn't know how to act around a "preacher." Eventually, they grew to love him, but we were still in some ways estranged. We lived our lives, and they lived theirs.

In time, we had children and left the church where we had been so involved in the music ministry, youth ministry, evangelism outreach, teaching Sunday School, running the bus ministry, and living life with people we dearly loved. After 13 years, the Lord moved us on. We moved up north of Muskegon, Michigan on 10 acres of land in dutch country. We knew no one. The farm house we purchased was 85 years old, quaint, (needed a ton of work), but 4 hours from my parents. My father and mother drove up one time. Jim was just getting started in music evangelism, having cut 3 albums with Singcord, a division of Zondervan. Life was challenging. Money was tight, and when six-year-old Nicol asked the blessing on our meal and thanked God that her Daddy brought home enough money for not only one house payment but two house payments from a recent trip to West Virginia, my father almost broke down and cried. Our surroundings were not life as he had pictured it for us. He left mumbling something about it being a God-forsaken place.

After fire destroyed our home, we sensed the Lord was calling us to the Congo. I remember phoning my mom to tell her that our home had gone up in smoke in less than 20 minutes. She said to me, "Nan, what else is going to happen to you?" The "what else" I dreaded telling her turned out to be our going to Congo. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. In their own way, Mom and Dad tried to put their foot down. It didn't stop us. They again didn't understand, were hurt beyond description, perplexed, dismayed, and I am sure resented greatly having to give up three of their grandchildren to the "far flung battle fields of the world." Four hours' separation no longer seemed that big a deal. The estrangement became intense.

Our first term in Congo was three and a half years. I look back now and am saddened that my parents missed out on that much time with their grand kids. That period of time brings a lot of change in a child's life. My mom by now had made a profession of faith. Because she continued not to have any church background, she did not understand even the basics of missions. My dad just thought we were nuts.

We stayed 16 months in America, and then it was time to return to Zaire (before it became Congo again). It was so hard to say good bye to everyone, especially my mom and dad. They weren't getting any younger. At this stage of life I can so identify with what must have been their fear and dread in seeing us go. Our fourth child, Jack, was only four.

Mom was faithful in writing us, but neither one ever came to visit. They could have. They should have. It would have opened their eyes to another world and expanded their horizons beyond imagination. Before our second term was up, Dad had to have emergency cancer surgery, and Mom had a stroke. I flew home to be with them. They were definitely aging. The estrangement followed us even in these hard times.

After the second term in Congo, which was cut short by another bout with cancer for my dad and a bus accident that could have taken Shawn's and Nicol's lives here in the States, we asked the Lord if we could set up a stateside base for our ministry in Detroit as well as carry on the work He had called us to do in Africa. We longed to be with our maturing children, one of whom was now entering college, but did not want to walk away from His incredible Hand of blessing overseas. We wanted the best of two worlds. In His mercy, He granted our hearts' desires.

As my parents continued to live to ripe old ages, they were able to enjoy their grandchildren once again. We both resided in Michigan; they in Waterford, we in Detroit. My father still refused to accept the gift of eternal life from Jesus Christ. He would rather get to heaven on his own merit. Then something happened that made him see the light. Mom died. As Mom grew older, she grew softer, and I believe came to the conclusion that maybe we had something going after all as far as choosing ministry for a career both here in the States and abroad.

When my mother died, it broke my father's heart. He lost his reason for living. He recognized the fact that he really was a needy person, that it was okay to be needy, that recognizing his human frailty was a good thing. He was not created to be an island. He didn't have to live like the Lone Ranger any longer. He was devastated. In his growing state of weakness and fragility, he was drawn to--of all people--my husband. In fact, when Dad had to move to an assisted living facility and could no longer fully take care of himself, he wanted Jim to come and spend his days with him. What? Are you kidding? Amazing, isn't it, how the Lord can brings things back full circle.

One morning Jim said to me, "Nancy, today is the day your dad is going to get saved." I just looked at him in astonishment. We drove to Dad's apartment, and as I was washing dishes, Jim said, "Dad, don't you want to see Mom again?" At that point, my father cried like a baby and said, "Oh yes, I do." I turned around to see my wonderful husband lead my father from death to life in his living room. I had prayed for my father's conversion for 44 years. The estrangement ended.

Six months after he confessed Christ, he was in full-blown Alzheimer's. He went to be with the Lord one year later, embracing the Savior just in time at the age of 88!

When I see my parents again, there will be no trace of estrangement, distancing, awkwardness. We will understand each other perfectly because "we will know even as we are known." My parents will fully understand why I made that life-changing decision at the age of 12. They will totally see why the Lord put Jim and me together, why we chose ministry as a vocation, and why we were committed to fulfilling His call to Africa. I will be able to look into their hearts and appreciate how pained they were, how weird it all seemed to them, and the hole we left in their lives during those 8 years we were gone.

Maybe some of you have experienced the "sword" of division Jesus brings into family relationships because you have paid the price of being willing to follow hard after Jesus. You may be going through the same painful reality of being the first one in your family to embrace Him. You may be feeling the sting of isolation because you have changed your life course. You may be lying on your bed at night weeping because you fear that your beloved mom or dad or your siblings may continue to reject him and spend eternity in Hell.

I'm here to testify that God is doing amazing things behind the scenes. His Spirit is striving with your family. They are watching you with an eagle eye and are taking in the bent and flow of your life. The effectual, fervent prayer of a woman or man who is in Christ avails much! Some day they will see their need. Life may be looking real good for them right now. They may have their health, their wealth, and their independence. But that won't always be the case. The day will come when they will have to face the fact that they are mostly a spiritual being dwelling in a physical body instead of the other way around. They are created in God's image, and they will not be able to get away from that.

So take heart, dear one. and lean hard on Jesus, who never fails, who never forsakes, who treats your tears like a precious commodity, bottling them up and writing them in His Book! He is weeping too. He loves them far more than you do, and He is orchestrating everything in their lives to cause them to turn to Him. He will not forget your labor of love with them. Be patient. Only the Holy Spirit can bring them around. One day they will wake up. You may be privileged to lead them to the Lord, and you will have all of eternity to make up for the heartache and lost time you experienced because of their spiritual blindness. God's promise in Acts 16:31 is for your whole household to be saved.

Allow me to share the lyrics of a song by Jesse Dixon that has ministered to me so many times when I was on the brink of despair:

If you feel today that you can't make it
Keep holdin' on, cause you can take it
If you hold on a little while longer
Hold on a little while longer
Hold on a little while longer
Hold on
Hold on

If you feel it's raining all in your life
And day by day, there's nothin'
Nothin' going right
Just hold on a little while longer
Hold on a little while longer
Hole on a little while longer
Hold on
Hold on

You gotta hold to His hand
God's unchanging hand
You gotta hold to His hand
God's unchanging hand
You gotta build your hopes on things eternal
My God will never let you down

Weeping may endure for the night
But if you trust in Jesus
Everything's gonna be all right
Just hold on a little while longer
Hold on a little while longer
Hole on a little while longer
Hold on
Hold on

Amen and Amen!